Trust, Conflict, and a Wrong Turn Outside Boston
Healthy relationships still have conflict, but they also have trust.
People sometimes notice that when my wife asks me to do something, I just do it, and when I ask her, she does the same. No debate, no scorekeeping. Most of the time we don’t even have to ask, we just see what needs to be done and handle it.
It isn’t obedience. It’s just trust. Neither of us asks for something without a good reason, and the reason is always our family.
Don’t get me wrong, we still argue.
Years ago, long before phones gave directions and you had to rely on a paper map, we got completely lost outside Boston. The toll was 50 cents back then. I paid it 4 times trying to find my way around.
Once we were finally headed in the right direction, we drove in complete silence for a while. I needed the time. Everything I would have said in those first 10 minutes would have been about a toll booth, not about anything that actually mattered.
And she let me have it, because neither of us thinks silence means something worse than it does. That’s what the trust buys you.
So what helps you cool down when frustration creeps in?
- Going for a quick walk or drive
- Working out or doing yard work
- Cooking, baking, or working with your hands
- Sitting somewhere quiet with music or a book
If somebody names a cool-down habit you ought to try, let them know. Most of us only have one or two that we rely on.
The porch light is on. Pull up a chair.
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