How to Support Someone You Love When You Can’t Fix It
One of my weaknesses is being patient when someone I love is going through something hard. I want to jump in. Tell them how to fix it. Say those three words that feed my ego for about four seconds: “I told you so.”
What I’ve found is that you can’t help anyone until they’re ready for it. Help that gets forced on somebody either gets ignored or turns into resentment.
So when someone I love is struggling, I just stay close. Daily conversations. Maybe a hike. Mostly just talking. Letting them know we’ll figure it out together, admitting I don’t have the answers, letting them be heard.
The upside is watching them build a strength they didn’t know they had.
So what do you do when you can’t fix it for somebody?
- Just listen and say nothing
- Check in regularly without bringing it up
- Show up with food, a ride, or company
- Give advice anyway and regret it later
- Say “I told you so” and feel bad for a week
Drop a number below, or leave a word. And if you’ve ever done #5, you’re in good company.
The porch light is on. Pull up a chair.
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